Destiny's Claim

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

I really began to feel helpless these days. It's not me, nor what i'm going through.

I see people around me, people i care about, being plummeted by their problems; school, friends, relationships, you name it. And i want to do something to help, dammit. But i can't. Not because i don't want to, i'm just unable to do anything.

It's not that they don't want help. Some have dropped hints. Some have asked directly. Others have cried. Words. Questions. Tears. All asking for someone, anyone, to help them. But i can't do anything. I feel so angry with myself. What good am i at all if i can't help those whom i care about? If i can't even hold someone up, support them, carry them for a while, then what kind of friend/brother am i? For a time, i felt really useless.

Yeah i know God put me here for a reason...but being not able (or not capable enough) to do something for these people is like putting me through what they're going through. I wish i could pull them out of their troubles, but i can't. Maybe that's why we all need God - to pull us up to a better place.

Yet...it kills me to see this happening. I want to comfort them, talk to them, hug them...but i can't. Just to carry them through life for a while. Just for a while.

Helplessness isn't not being able to help yourself; it's seeing those close to you in need, and unable to give it.

simply jon.pondered @ 1:15 pm

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