Thursday, December 02, 2004
To tell or not to tell?
i'm not talking about relationships this time (enough of that for a while). say one of your friends thanks you for something that you did, just that you didn't do it with that exact same intention. a rather selfish intention, as a matter of fact, just that he or she doesn't know. not that your friend thinks that you have another pure intention, he or she just thinks you did it from second nature, but that wasn't the case.
do you risk telling your friend and being honest, at the possible cost of your friendship? one may argue that the friendship should be based on honesty and trust, and as such, you should do so. the ideal is that because you are honest with each other, the friendship will grow deeper and stronger, but that isn't usually the case is it? usually it's because you tell a friend something that he or she doesn't want to hear and the friendship is ruined. (of course, another argument is that if your friend is hurt in hearing your honest statement, then perhaps it's not worth having such a friend as you can't be honest with him or her, but i don't agree with that because people can have their own opinions and conclusions and besides, it really is your fault.) so in being honest, it can go either way.
but with hiding the truth, it can go either way too. if your friend never finds out, then everything goes on smooth and peachy and both of you live your lives as normal and eventually even you will forget what you did and nobody (except God) will know what you did with that intention of yours. but what if one day circumstances force your hand and you have to tell? your friend could again have two options: be hurt that you should hide something from him or her, or trust that you had your reasons to hide it and continue to believe in you. but how likely is the latter to happen? the reality shows us that that trust, when broken, isn't easily mended; hence the saying "once bitten twice shy". it takes a great amount of faith in the person to simply believe that he or she has his reasons, and you don't know if your friend has that great faith in you.
So what do you do? tell your friend and risk the friendship? or hide it from your friend and risk the friendship?
To tell or not to tell, that is the question...
simply jon.pondered @ 10:50 pm
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