Friday, July 22, 2005
Disclaimer: This post is just a mental reflection that's on my mind. It won't tell you anything about what's going on currently, nor give you much insight - it's just something i need to put down in words.When one is brought to question what he had been trained to take as truth, is that considered reflection? If so, then to me there is a very fine line between reflection and confusion - which might explain why i'm almost constantly so confused.
Nothing wrong with questioning what you're taught - it helps you to ascertain what it true coz the false will simple melt away under real scrutiny. But when it comes down to the heavy stuff in the heart, and you suddenly need to ask what your foundation is, it gets me confused. What's the benchmark? What's the key concept?
Yet i know that most human beings can't be explained scientifically, us being irrational creatures and all. But there must be some sort of explaination. Ironically it's times like this that i believe all the more that God does exist coz someone's gotta have the answers.
Sometimes you do things with the best of intentions and things turn out bad. Other times they turn out as expected. What if you don't know what the result of the what you did? Do you continue doing and hope that its effects are positive? What if the effects are negative - the cumulative final result would come crashing down on everything and you'd be ruined. Yet there's no way to be certain of the results of what you're doing - what do you do?
That's when you have to really look at things. Objectivity in dealing with items, and honesty and transparency with regards to people. (Note: you MANAGE items, you BEFRIEND people - there's a significant difference, don't go mixing the two around) When you don't see things clearly, when the information is insufficient, you can't make proper deductions and take the proper course of action, and your chances of messing up are much higher. A perfect example would be coding a program - where if you give some rubbish input you're likely to get a worse output.
What happens when almost every question you ask yourself is answered by an "i don't know?" It's then that you learn to trust God and seek Him for answers - yet that's easier said than done, for it's a well-known fact that the distance between the head and the heart is the furthest distance in the world. Perhaps it would have been so much easier to not think so much, or even not be able to think at all, to be mindless drones...the grass is always greener on the other side.
Yet with this same capacity for thought we can appreciate great literary works, masterpieces on canvas and to a certain extent, the more scientific side of things, like programming code (for some of us) being reduced by a considerable number of lines. (Yes, Geekdom is not dead.) Two sides of the same coin, yet the image of the coin reminds me of Two-Face's coin, where one side is scratched beyond recognition.
Guess that's all that's expressable on my mind now...if there's more thoughts in a flurry i'll put it up sometime.
simply jon.pondered @ 7:25 pm
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