Saturday, July 09, 2005
Just returned yesterday from the VCF Freshman Orientation Camp and reminded so much of my first FOC at Sentosa. Would like to relive those days again, but that's not possible.
Reminded so much of the innocence then, and how naive i was. Can i truly say that i have grown? Even more so pertaining to what God wants me to grow in? Thinking back and comparing the jon of the FOC '04 to the jon sitting here typing this out now - there is definitely a difference, yet whether it be good or bad perhaps only God knows at this point of time.
I know for a fact that one year ago, i never would have envisioned myself the way i am now, which isn't to say whether the state i'm in now is desireable or not. Perhaps it's merely because in the past i never thought about how i'd turn out in the relative future. Again, all these raises questions in my mind, which i shall iterate here, but honestly won't bother much about them coz there's nothing i can do since all this is relating to the past, and furthermore i most likely wouldn't be able to find out the answers to them anyway.
Had i been a good steward of my time the last year? I really can't tell for sure. I hope i had been, and yet there are areas which i know need vast improvement even now. What drives me to think of this question is that one day when i finally come face to face with my Father, i know He will ask me "did you do the best you could with what I gave you?" and i shall have to give an honest answer. Definitely everyone would hope that the answer we return would be "yes".
Which leads me to the second thought that i had after the camp - the concept of eternity. During the production of the musical last sem, Gabriel mentioned something like "
he who grapples with the concept of eternity has the ability to turn the tides of time" and i've been thinking about eternity ever since. No, i don't have time-shifting mutant powers yet, but perhaps they're just dormant ;D. The thought keeps ringing in my head and i'm reminded of that scene in "
Starship Troopers" where the
Rednecks go to war and the warcry from the leader is "who wants to live forever"...does what i do have any significance on eternity? Someone once said "the key to immortality is to live a life worth remembering". So what will i leave behind after the transient world i live in is gone?
Somehow memories cause me to reflect on myself. I believe experiences change and mould a person, especially when it's God running the show. I don't have a quirky snippet to end this post, neither do i have a memorable flashback to my past.
I just hope that when the day comes and i have to be accountable for what i've done, i can still hold my head up and look my Father in His face and say "i have been a good steward".
simply jon.pondered @ 9:57 pm
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